Hallelujah, Reverend Jarvis Got it Right


Hallelujah, Reverend Jarvis Got it Right. He called Reverend Al Sharpton a pimp on national TV. He should be awarded the National Medal of Honesty.

This past weekend there was a march in Hartford, Connecticut to protest the violence. I do believe Reverend Jarvis was one of the organizers. He pastors a church in Hartford. In case you’re a thinking I’m racist, Reverend Jarvis is black.

No one came forward to say they invited Rev Al there, so I guess Rev Al invited himself.

When the march was over, Rev Al wound up at a nearby church where, I assume, an impromptu gathering took place, what I might call a flash-mob congregation. Like maybe they weren’t there, and suddenly they were there, but they weren’t ripping the pews out and hauling them off to see how much they could hock them for. In that case, hocking them would be the best course of action. You wouldn’t want to be sittin’ at home in a stolen church pew. I don’t think that would do much to advance your religion.

I don’t know who the pastor at that church was, but it certainly was not Reverend Jarvis, because he would have thrown Rev Al out, and his henchmen, or bodyguards, or what I term lookalikes for the mob. Or whatever identities Rev Al’s surrounders use to identify themselves.

Sometimes when you think a situation can’t get any worser, it gets more worser than it was. For you English language enthusiasts that’s not the way you would have written it, but sometimes an aberration of the English language is needed to get the gravitational pull that you wish would suck all of the clothes off Rev Al’s body, and he’d be standing there naked, except for his money belt stuffed with hundred dollar bills, that is if he has a money belt stuffed with hundred dollar bills. That might be a good idea, the money belt I mean, because if he suddenly kicks the bucket, he needs a few bucks to try and bribe St. Peter, in case what he’s done on this earth is chasing him all the way up to the Pearly Gates, and St. Pete says, “Rev Al, let me take another look at your resume”, and Rev Al is forced to say, “I can’t stop now, something is chasing me.”

Rev Al took to the pulpit, and said something, and then asked for donations. Reverend Jarvis realizing this was already an impoverished neighborhood, as Reverend Jarvis worded it, didn’t think it was right to ask for donations, especially since Rev Al seemed to be the only one who knew where the donations were going. Well, maybe Rev Al’s henchmen, or bodyguards, or those who remind me of gang-related activities, may have known where the donations were going. If Rev Al left in a limo, I imagine the collection bucket would have been riding right back there with him.

Reverend Jarvis shouted out from the aisle to Rev Al, I would think using the pimp word at that point. There was no audible sound on the video. Rev Al started waving money at him from the pulpit. Rev Al I don’t think deals in less than hundred dollar bills, ‘cause that’s what they looked like to me.

I won’t call some of the people morons who were sitting in the makeshift congregation, because those people would sue me for calling them morons, but you can attach whatever name you wish to call them. They were actually cheering Rev Al. I wish no one to do without food, but I sure hope those people who were cheering him emptied their pockets of all their cash for Rev Al, and discovered when they got home they had no food and no money.

Reverend Jarvis was asked why he thought President Obama always seems to want Rev Al to be his point man in black relations, and Reverend Jarvis said he didn’t know, much as the rest of us have no clue.

I wish I had the name and address of Reverend Jarvis’ church. I’d be sending him a donation tomorrow, as I’m sure many of you would. We’d know exactly what he planned to do with it. He talked of jobs and other things that would allow the people of his community to work themselves out of their situations.

As for Rev Al, I see no end to the worship his followers have for him. Maybe if he loses his pants in public, and that reveals a stuffed money belt around his waist with hundred dollar bills overflowing, perhaps a woman might say to her husband, “Roscoe, you don’t have a money belt like that stuffed with hundred dollar bills in it, and we are followers of this man?” I did forget one small item. While she was saying this, she was bashing Roscoe over the head with her purse.

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