Naked Man in North Carolina

N

Naked Man in North Carolina. And the Charlotte police say he’s legal.

The guy stands in the front doorway of his house with no clothes on. Only if he went out in public and exposed himself and somebody else saw him could he be arrested.

According to a couple of neighbors, he’s been doing this for ten years. That’s great for the neighborhood property values. Can’t you hear a realtor showing a house to prospective buyers? “This window has a great view. You can see that naked guy standing in his front doorway.”

I couldn’t believe the comments attached to one of the stories about this. Some even agreed that the guy should be able to do it.

I guess one of the women writing a comment agreed with him. I’m not sure. The best I could decipher what she said, she likes to run through her house naked to please her husband, and if the blinds are open, somebody else might see her. If the woman stood naked in her front doorway, I might have to take a trip to her city to verify the validity of the story.

I do think what this woman does, and the overt action of this guy are totally different.

There’s a homeowner’s association for this subdivision, but apparently they haven’t been able to do anything about it yet.

Does this guy go to work naked? Is he the executive director of a nudist colony? If he works at a normal job, did he sign a contract that has a morals clause in it? Bingo.

He signed no morals clause? No problem. Go down to his work, about 20 of you, and tell them you’re his neighbors, and you’re there to have lunch with him. You neighbors take it from there.

I’m normally easy going, but I do have my moments in which I make suggestions about how to solve a particular problem. I do try to be creative, and not use other people’s ideas.

Leave the guy an invitation to a block party in his mailbox—three months from now. Just be sure the mailman has run for the day. To the invitation attach some chicken skin that has been out of the refrigerator overnight, and tell him you plan to have fried or baked chicken at the block party.

You might need to do this with various and sundry meats for a few days, but eventually the mailman will tell the guy he will either have to put up a new mailbox or come to the post office to get his mail.

Go down to a local contractor, and buy a truck load of top soil. Tell him you might not be home when he delivers it, and to dump it on the front lawn. How could you be so stupid as to write down that nude neighbor’s house number and not yours? When you call the police, you tell them you want to know why the guy stole your topsoil. He must have directed the truck to dump the dirt on his lawn, when it was really your topsoil, and you want him arrested.

Call the police at 3 in the morning. Tell them you heard loud music coming from his house, and it’s disturbing you. Tell them you know he will be watching for them, and cut the music down before they show up, and they need to knock on his door, and tell him loud music is not allowed. Have a different neighbor do that every other night.

Is this guy married? Does he have kids?

Does he have parents? Take up a collection, hire a PI, who will find them. Tell the TV station where they live, and ask them to go interview them. If the parents won’t be interviewed, then show a picture of their house and the location of it on TV.

You think this is drastic? Think of the kids in that neighborhood.

 

 

Add comment