What Cubs’ Fans Should Do During the World Series

W

“Back to the Future II” predicted the Cubs would win the World Series this year. They won the first round of the playoffs. Then they faced the Mets in the NLCS. They had dominated the Mets in the regular season. The Mets dominated them in the Championship Series, winning 4-0.

The Cubs’ fans will have some time on their hands while the World Series is going on between the Mets and Kansas City Royals. I doubt any self-respecting Cubs’ fan will be glued to the TV set while those games are being played. I have little doubt that the announcers will remind everyone more than once that the last time the Cubs won the World Series was 1908

What to do? Take a stroll along Lake Michigan before the true winter winds assemble in front of you. When that winter wind comes hustling across that cold water, one should seek refuge in an underground heated bunker to ward off the chills.

Go over into some of the neighborhoods and watch people get shot. Mostly black youths, but bullets don’t too much care about how much of your life you’ve lived. Exactly how you watch the murders without being a victim yourself I’m not sure. Maybe from the peephole of a swat team vehicle. Wait a minute, I’m not even sure they bring out the swat team vehicle, they might be fearful of what will happen to it. Wasn’t Democrat’s Rahm Emanuel just re-elected mayor not long ago? What was his campaign slogan, “Elect me and I guarantee you more young blacks will be killed this year than last year?” You can lead a blind Democrat to the voting booth and put his hand on the lever.

Get to know your neighbor. If you’re like a guy I met once from NYC that might not be easy. He and a tenant from his same floor were stranded on an elevator for 30 minutes in their apartment building. They didn’t know each other, and were twenty-five minutes into the stall before they spoke to each other. Of course if your neighbor has a Mets’ flag hanging out on his front porch, you might want to delay the intro a few years, like maybe forever.

Go down to the local bar. If you’re not a drinker order a Shirley Temple or a sarsaparilla. Just don’t do it in front of a 275 pound guy with tattoos, the biggest one saying, “Mom” on one arm, and one just big enough to be offensive on the other arm saying, “Mets”.

Ride downtown in a taxi and see what’s going on in the metropolis. Don’t wear your Cubs’ hat and Cubs jersey. The cab driver might be a Mets’ fan. If he speaks English don’t engage him in conversation unless you plan to be thrown out of the cab at a most inopportune time. If he only speaks Pakistani, then rail on about how the Cubs should have won the World Series this year.

Walk by Wrigley Field, and stop to have a confab with Ernie Banks or at least his statue. I always had a lot of respect for Ernie personally and as a player. Don’t rant and rave about the Cubs. Just have an earnest conversation if you will. Sorry, couldn’t help that play on words.

Statues don’t talk much, so it will be a one-sided conversation, but be respectful as Ernie always was. Might I suggest this line of logic? “Well, Ernie, unless you are one-hundred and twenty-seven years old, I know you and the Cubs did not win the World Series while you played. That would be you at 20 and the Cubs at 107 since that 1908 win.

What do you think the problem is? We won what 97 games, and you’d think everybody else would say, gee the Cubs won 97 games, they deserve to be in the World Series. That guy who prevented the Cubs from being in the World Series a while back when he tried to catch that foul ball when Felipe Alou was all set to catch it, and Alou didn’t catch it, and then the Cubs fell apart and disintegrated and deteriorated and everything else you can think of, and the poor guy has to keep a low profile today. He didn’t even attend the playoffs or the NLCS. Well, the fans couldn’t blame him this time. That guy wasn’t to blame the last time, but the fans have got to blame somebody or something. You have any idea whom or what they blame this time? Maybe termites ate the bats, and they couldn’t hit. Or the opposing pitchers were throwing spitballs, and the umpires didn’t catch it.

I don’t know Ernie, but it’s tough. One-hundred and seven times Cubs’ fans have said wait ‘til next year. Maybe Harry Carey should have been announcing in the booth, but Harry’s gone. And so are the Cubs World Series dreams for another year.

Ernie, could you call back some of the old Cubs’ players who have gone on, and have a World Series of our own? Play the Yankees—Mickey Mantle, Roger Maris, Joe DiMaggio, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig. Pack the house. Maybe even win the Series. Wouldn’t that be something?”

Add comment